Attention F1 Fans—Paddock Gossip Alert!!

Not having had a podium finish all year, Red Bull Team Principal, Christian Horner, has defined his team’s season thus far with his non-stop whinging about the inferiority of the Renault engine. It culminated with him saying after the Spanish Grand Prix on Sunday that, because of Renault, the 2015 season was a “write-off” for Red Bull. Why so surprised, Mr. Horner? Did the engine fairies not do their magic over the winter when you were sleeping?

But while you’re at it, why not slip a note to Monisha Kaltenborn to let her know she should just write her season off too since Sauber is not likely to see the podium? And pop by McLaren to let Ron Dennis know there is really, really no point in him showing up to race?

Earth to Christian Horner: Please stop talking. Thanks.

But Christian Horner has other things on his mind, perhaps? Equidistant between the Spanish Grand Prix and the Monaco Grand Prix, he is reportedly getting married to former “Ginger” Spice, Geri Halliwell, with whom he took up six months after his partner of 14 years, Beverley Allen, gave birth to their first child, little Olivia, who is now one year old.

The engagement was announced in a traditional advert in The Times just before the season ended in 2014. Reportedly, Mr. Horner’s “positive influence” on Ms. Halliwell prevailed when he was able to convince her not to sell the news to Hello! magazine. The wedding is scheduled for Friday, May 15 2015, according to the London tabloids. The guest list includes former “Baby” Spice Emma Bunton, “Sporty” Spice Mel B, Bernie Ecclestone, and Mr. T., the American actor best known for his show The A Team.

Christian Horner’s parents are boycotting the wedding over Christian’s treatment of his former longtime partner. Former Spice Girls, Mel C and Victoria Beckham, can’t make it but 300 other guests are expected. The bride’s two Pomerian dogs, Daddy and William, are rumoured to have been designated the role of ring bearers. Ms. Halliwell’s dress was designed by Sarah Burton who also designed Catherine Middleton’s wedding dress.

Observers are holding their breath, however. It’s not the first time Ms. Halliwell has been headed to the chapel. According to the Daily Mail, “Her first ex-fiance was Demian Warner, a wealthy American … In 2009, she was engaged to Italian businessman Fabrizio Politi … But her romance with British screenwriter Sacha Gervasi was over by the time she realised she was pregnant with their daughter Bluebell, who turns nine on the wedding day.”

Geri Halliwell posted a photo of herself on Instagram with Christian Horner and her daughter Bluebell at Easter, the very picture of a loving family. No sign of little Olivia.

Should the wedding actually take place, race fans will likely be treated to the happy couple strolling hand-in-hand down pit lane at the Monaco Grand Prix with Bernie Ecclestone, who apparently introduced them, looking on in pride that F1 is finally generating serious ink in the gossip pages once more.

Gail Picco is a strategist who has worked in the nonprofit sector for 25 years. She is the author of What the Enemy Thinks, a recent novel set in the nonprofit sector, and is Chair of the Board of the Regent Park Film Festival. She also writes about baseball and F1 racing.